Saturday, December 3, 2016

Lost



It's a last month of 2016. It mean i didn't have any post in this blog for almost one year. I just can't believe that. Because i always remember that 3 years ago, writting were always be my passion. I almost could write everyday. You know, when you were getting older there are so many challenges in your life. You should getting stronger.

I'm not student anymore. I'm 22 year old. But i feel like i lost so many things. I lost my father in this year. I almost lost my mother. I lost my education. I lost my dreams. I lost my career. You know what? When i was in High School, i always wanna be a writer and a journalist. I always wanna be a communication student. I always wanna work in a TV Station. But i failed. Totally failed.

I always asked to my self, why?Why i can't reach my dreams? 

After i graduated from High School, I worked as shopkeeper for 2 months then my sister asked me to got a study in Bandung. Then finally i got lecture but not as a communication student like i always imagine, she want me to got a Secretary major and i did. I graduated from Secretary major for 1 year. Then i came back to Jakarta and got a job as Call Center.

When i got a job, it feels like i should pushed my self to go to college (again) with my own money. Of course i planned to go to college as a communication student. But Allah has another plans. It was just a week i worked, my dad got a stroke. And that time, my heart has broken. I feels like my worlds has stopped. All of my dreams were gone.

I was a single fighter for my family in 19th years old.

I worked so hard and i forgot my dreams.I worked 2 years as a Call Center which is not going so well because my salary was just enough for eat and for my father costs. No savings. No plans. My life was getting plain. Until finally i got a new job (last year) and new income (of course) and i had a plan to take my dad got a theraphy but Allah has another plans (again). My dad has died this year (January).

And iam now. Without my Dad and still to be a single fighter for my small family.

And iam thinking now. Iam thinking about my dreams. Iam starting to write again. To finish what i've been start. To realize what i've been postpone.To be what my Dad want. You know what, my dad is the only man who support me. He always want me to be a Journalist and he always said to keep writing. And if one day i become a real writer, that's only for my Dad. I miss you, Dad.

Love,


Daddy's little girl